Babysitters

Babysitters might be the best babysitter movie ever. If you've ever seen the extended nut-punching sequence in the comedy gem Kung Pow, you will understand how something that's a cliche can be kind of funny, then tiresome, and then, if only the filmmaker has the guts to sustain the joke, funny again, even more effective than the first time. Babysitters is a microcosm of the mileage that Robby D. got out of abusing the music-video-casting joke in 30-plus volumes of Jack's Playground until it was a ruined corpse and then dressing up the body in a clown suit and abusing it again.

Underscoring the as usual whimsical air of the production, the credits list Jesse Jane as The Babysitter, Sasha Grey as the Babysitter, Nautica Thorn as The Babysitter, Shay Jordan as The Babysitter, and Teagan Presley as The Babysitter (and isn't that an ironic twist). Robby hedges his bets and makes the movie accessible to the non-babysitter-fixated demographic by padding out the cast with Sophia Santi as The Dominatrix, Gina Lynn as Mrs. Johnson, Nikki Benz as Mrs. Smith, and Lexxi Tyler, Sammie Rhodes, Alektra Blue and Angie Savage as The Housewives. Robby toys with most, if not all, of the great babysitter cliches -- babysitter seduces dad, babysitter dallies with older sibling of babysat, babysitter takes on guy and all his friends -- and even manages to combine a few, as when babysitter invites her boyfriend over and has sex in the master bedroom and then gets caught by early-returning parents and has a threesome with outraged employers -- two scenes for the price of one!

It looks like the movie is going to start off with Jesse Jane, but Robby throws us a curve, switching to a Nautica Thorn scene in which the schoolgirl-outfitted Nautica seduces Tony De Sergio. Pretty standard babysitter stuff, but with Nautica as the aggressor -- she's no innocent, as Tony discovers when she interrupts his masturbatory fantasy to jump his bones. Blowjob, spoon, RCG, cowgirl, doggy and a copious facial later, she's out; she calls her friend Sasha to find out what's up, but Sasha can't talk -- she's on her way into a scene of her own. Her boyfriend is pushing her to go all the way, but she's reluctant to give it up; in a classic porn trope, she closes the gates to the boyfriend, but then agrees to take on a roomful of dads for a handful of cash when the stripper doesn't show up to their bachelor party. Sasha is, of course, the perfect girl for such an endeavor, being pretty enough and young enough to be convincing as an attractive babysitter but also slutty enough to make Catherine The Great feel like maybe she should get out more. Sasha takes on all four of the neighborhood dads in a blowbang that would sideline most real babysitters.

Meanwhile, across the street, the neighborhood wives' party morphs into a five-girl orgy when The Dominatrix shows up sporting a black strap on and proceeds to get the girls into an entirely different kind of rubberware event. All five girls wield some impressive hardware, and they all end up screaming into each others bushes while their husbands are blapping loads onto Sasha's pretty face. Teagan, who really ought to be tending her own kids, and who resembles a babysitter much less now that she has grafted a pair of softballs on her chest, catches her charge's older brother whacking it in the bathroom and demands the right to watch. Naturally, he's reluctant to expose himself in front of a girl, but some persuasion and some tits coax the little guy out of his cave, and soon Teagan is on her knees helping him. "Watching" turns into "providing material for many future nights of jacking off in the bathroom", and she goes from knees to cowgirl then doggy and missionary, also taking it up her capacious ass in the course of simultaneously satisfying and creating his teenage fantasies.

Scott Nails drops by the house where his girlfriend Shay is babysitting, and manages to go straight from mooching food from the fridge to seducing Shay in the master bedroom. After they discover the Johnsons' stock of bondage gear, things heat up and stay hot, with Shay wearing a blindfold, getting and giving some great oral, and getting fucked in cowgirl, RCG, missionary and RCG until the Johnsons come home just in time to witness Scott's afterquarters as he flees the scene of the crime, leaving behind only a naked Shay and a spray of jizz to mark his passing. Naturally, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson's outrage turns to a different kind of heat as they realize that their babysitter is naked, slutty and covered in come, and another scene ensues, this one with Ben English and Gina Lynn taking advantage of Shay, who realizes that the best way to avoid retribution from her parents is to let the Johnsons in on the act. Ben gets a great double blowjob and penetrates both women in various positions before spraying their faces with a gooey reward.

Finally, we get back to Jesse Jane, who shows up in a credible babysitter outfit and plays word games with an increasingly confused Tommy Gunn, who discovers while floundering for words that Jesse isn't really there to take care of the kid -- his wife has actually hired Jesse to fulfill his babysitter fantasy. Once he understands the situation, the three retire upstairs -- one hopes they engaged a real babysitter to cover for the fake one, because once all three of them get to the bed, they seem to forget that there's a baby in the house. I'm not going to come right out and call them bad parents, because quite frankly Jesse Jane and Nikki Benz giving me a blowjob might make me forget my name, much less my child, but still. The rest of the things they do -- lots of fucking in the traditional positions, including doggy, RCG, cowgirl, and spoon, with plenty of girl/girl interactions to spice things up, culminating in a big double facial -- are just icing on the cake.

Overall, as mentioned previously, Babysitters sits at the top of the pinnacle, as far as babysitter movies are concerned; with Robby D.'s lighthearted approach, Digital Playground's resources and HD equipment, and the combined talent of so many of DP's contract stars and regular players, it's hard to see how Babysitters could miss. With the exception of the fading Teagan Presley, the girls are all gorgeous, young and mostly natural (always excepting Jesse Jane, whose alterations must be forgiven because of her enthralling ebullience) and you or I would, like Tommy Gunn, develop a babysitter fetish immediately if any of them showed up on our doorsteps.

Babysitters might be the best babysitter movie ever. If you've ever seen the extended nut-punching sequence in the comedy gem Kung Pow, you will understand how something that's a cliche can be kind of funny, then tiresome, and then, if only the filmmaker has the guts to sustain the joke, funny again, even more effective than the first time. Babysitters is a microcosm of the mileage that Robby D. got out of abusing the music-video-casting joke in 30-plus volumes of Jack's Playground until it was a ruined corpse and then dressing up the body in a clown suit and abusing it again.... Read the Full Review!